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Diapers at 40?

Saturday, August 1st, 2009 | iRate Chick blogs | No Comments

Okay, so I’m one month shy of my fortieth bday but isnt it to soon to be wearing Depends –  old people diapers? 

Since I can’t get to the gym because of my early work schedule, my other unpaid job, and hubby quality-time, I’ve been jumping rope in our small patio.  Today I started jumping when I pee’d on myself. What?  Yes, it’s true.  I couldn’t believe it.  And I had just emptied out the bladder.

Then after that I sneazed and had some leakage. I was like a kid again holding myself and doing the pee dance. 

I’m gaining weight, sprouting grey hair, the baby clock ticking away and now I’m peeing on myself.  Come on! 

Okay so maybe I’m to blame for this one. I have a bad habit of holding my full bladder to the very end like now. Bathroom break!  

Okay I’m back. And that reminds me.  I hold it for so long when I do go it’s like the scene from Austin Powers after he’s unfrozen and pees for a long time. Just when you think he’s done – he starts the steady stream again. That’s me.

And to think an older lady told me back in college to save my young bladder from her dreaded problem. “Honey, when you’z got to go- go.”. Her problem was that she couldn’t hold it anymore and she would come in running into the UCLA Student Health break room (my office space) every day.

You think I listened?  I tell myself I won’t do it anymore but then I do it again and again.  I don’t want to interrupt my genius moment with a trip to the bathroom- I guess.

Oh, well.  Like they say, we’re born in diapers and die in diapers.  What a viscious cycle of life.

Tags: birthday, blog, forty year old virgin, over forty, sex, women problems

His Big 4-0

Sunday, May 17th, 2009 | iRate Chick blogs | No Comments

On June 2nd, my husband will be turning 40 and it’s not going to be fun. Being unemployed is already taking a toll on him plus he’ll be reaching that number we’ve both dreaded since turning 39 last year.

I thought guys took turning 40 a lot better than women because they don’t have that internal clock ticking but I guess it’s no different.

So to take his mind off things, I’m planning or more accurately should start planning his birthday bash for the last weekend of May. It’s only two weeks away and I haven’t even invited our friends. Bad wife!

Tags: age, birthday, forty, male, marriage, men, middle age, women